How to join, enjoy, get bored, delete and rejoin a social network.

For over eighteen years I have used the Internet. I used the Internet before even websites were common place. I have been socializing online well before that horrible buzz word “social media” was invented.

No matter what site I used, message boards, video sharing sites, aol, Facebook, I always would see the same things happen.

Initial discovery.

Out of the blue you will discover the site with curiosity. You will start to play around with it’s features. You will end up finding friends who share your interests or ideology. If you didn’t find the site interesting at all, at this stage you will stop going after only a few times.

Forming the site as a habit.

At this stage you will start going to this place more and more. You will either bookmark the site or have a prominent link to your profile (if applicable) on your blog. You will start to talk to your IRL friends about the site. They will not understand why you waste your time there. In some cases, you will even try to make friends IRL with your site’s buddies.

Addiction and dependency.

At this point, the addiction to the site is at a fully blown epidemic. You will start to skip work or school because of this site. Often you will even use the mobile app of the site. You will see your Internet friends as kindred souls.

Questioning the motives of members.

Here is when things start to get messy. You will start to question, either openly or privately the motives of your Internet friends. Are they your real friends, or are they just people who only exist on the Internet? Can they be trusted with even a small secret?

Disagreement with policy, other members or both.

Now, you will either start to tire of many of the sites members’ antics. You will also question how the place is run or recoil at any new changes. You want the place to stay the same, but the sites owners either don’t care or care about a select few people.

Boredom or Outright revolt.

The site now is no longer fun anymore. You are bored or fed up with newer users who don’t understand how good the place used to be. The current or new management doesn’t want to listen you bitch about things. At this time you are either outspoken against this place or are motivated to cause a rebellion. You also may be outgrowing the place after being on it for a few years.

Rage quit or banning.

You have been pushed to the edge. One day you will get banned for doing something stupid or suspended for revolting. In larger communities you won’t even wait for that to happen, you will leave first. Sometimes it’s accompanied by a sob story as a way to garner sympathy one last time. More than often you will use the delete function and leave it at that.

Half-assed comeback.

One day, often very quickly you come crawling back! You realize how boring your life with that social site is and try again. You may not have the same clout you once had. Hell, you might be ostracized enough to leave again. The main reason you came back is because you missed your old friends!

Secondary habit or “re-purposing” the site.

Sometimes a older site that you used to go to might be used differently. You aren’t as addicted but you will use it for another reason or at certain situations. Instead of being an active contributor, you will mainly lurk or view the service at certain times.

Complete Abandonment.

If you reached this point you will just stop going to that place PERIOD. At this stage, you have replaced it with one or more places. Then the cycle continues…..

Being stuck in a college kid’s late night lifestyle.

I seriously need to grow the fuck up.

Really I do. Very recently after I had a session with my Therapist, I’ve come to the realization that in my early thirties I continue to live the lifestyle of a college student.

Since I work from afternoon to almost midnight, I tend to stay up late at night. Often I will stay up anywhere from 2 to 5am. I’ve tried numerous way to improve my sleep habits such as meletonin, ambien, no caffeine, turning off lights and a c-pap machine.

All of these have failed. So what I usually do when i’m up at night is use the internet. Sadly, it is also one of the few times I am able to socialize with like minded people. For a LONG time I’ve been very reliant on the internet to make friends due to the fact that its very hard to make new friendships after college. Just about all of my college friendships have dried up or faded away.

I’ve tried many times to change my work shift, but to no avail. I also feel very complacent at my employer due to the excellent health benefits they provide. That and my lack of college degree has kind of prevented me from seeking something else.

This lifestyle isn’t compatible with other people. I’ve found that out the hard way. I’ve already mentioned that finding friends is a difficult prospect, finding someone to date me who has not been already repulsed by my appearance is even tougher. Even getting past most of my issues, its kinda of difficult to find a woman who also works the same hours who isn’t already married or in a relationship already.

I COULD just go out to bars and hang out with drunk people, but at my age, drinking to excess at late hours is no longer attractive to me. Aside from the obvious health reasons, the prospect of getting a DUI isn’t what I need in my life now. (Remember I don’t have friends IRL, so I can’t get a DD to drive me home.)

I don’t know what I can do to change this. I’m at a loss. I just felt like venting for no reason.

in Life | 369 Words

Attempt #3456789 to start writing again.

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My therapist wants me to get back into my hobbies again. One of my hobbies aside from sleeping and playing video games is writing. More specifically its is blogging.

I have made numerous attempt to start back up the habit of writing a few times a week only to either procrastinate or be discouraged after upsetting a few people for being honest.

I also happen to be quite critical of the way I write.  As I type this now, I feel that my sentence flow is weak and I am unable to be vivid with my vocabulary without abusing a thesaurus. Don’t even get me started on my tendency to type run-on sentences.

Of course since the last time I wrote SOMETHING, a lot has happened. I lost and gained weight AGAIN, I continue to fade away from many of the social media sites that I used to waste time on, I isolated myself from past friends or acquaintances and The New York Rangers lost their Stanley Cup Final in 20 years.

Pretty soon I am going to undergo a major operation that will improve my health. I expect that things after it will never be the same. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be so secretive about it. I am getting my stomach stapled.  I really need to get it done before I get so fat that I require a scale meant for heavy animals.

From those who know me well, if anyone does, over the past two years I’ve had issues with Depression, Anxiety and other things. I want to be a bit more open about my problems and maybe that will help me understand them. Writing should make me articulate my feeling better and hopefully I can improve my sometimes shitty grammar.

That’s all I got for all of you now.

in Life | 301 Words